"MICHIGAN MOANER" COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!

By Patience Pantperhog, intrepid stringer for the "James Bay Babbler"

Not to be outdone by that popular TV sitcom, "Sex in the City", it seems something is definitely in heat this summer! Clearly the "Michigan Moaner" is currently on the move to a location near you, right here in James Bay!

Rarely heard in the daytime, this wicked wailing can be heard panting at the moon. If you are bewildered of late by moans ressembling the sounds made by a wounded animal, don't worry and think you've got to call the SPCA, it's the "Michigan Moaner"!

Hounded out by a light sleepers, she appears to have moved her boudoir further on down the street. Last Saturday night, curious bystanders who couldn't put up with the moans looked high and low for the source of all the noise.

In case you didn't know, ambulance sirens don't warrant this much attention in this neighborhood!

So, if you spot the "Michigan Moaner, just email the James Bay Babbler, and we'll be there to cover the story!

And to all you light sleepers out there, keep your windows and ears open to the heart beat of James Bay, may it be ever so strange!

Who is the "Ogden Point Enhancement Society"?

We have a minor mystery of sorts in our illustrious neighborhood.

The "James Bay Beacon" in it's July/August issue together with the "Greater Victoria Harbour Authority" announced that the "Ogden Point Enhancement Society" would be hosting a special event, "Cruising Into History - A Celebration of Ogden Point", on Saturday, August 23, 2008 from 7:30 pm to 10:00 pm at Ogden Point Terminal.

The press release for the Greater Victoria Harbour Authority states: "Come celebrate Victoria's rich maritime history. Bring the whole family down for an evening of music, food, and fireworks to commemorate the history of Ogden Point and upgrades to the terminal in conjunction with the arrival of the 150th cruise ship. Over 30 arts & crafts vendors will be participating in the Night Market. Volunteers will provide tours of the new murals."

Apparently this special event will be hosted by the "Ogden Point Enhancement Society", Victoria A.M. Association, the Greater Victoria Harbour Authority, King Bros. Limited, and Western Stevedoring.

So, who is "Ogden Point Enhancement Society"?

According to the "Greater Victoria Harbour Authority", the "Ogden Point Enhancement Society" was established in the 1990s "when then Mayor, Bob Cross, organized a group of volunteers to care for the grassy area opposite the breakwater and along the waterfront up to Confederation Point".

A Federal Government language press release, (dated 24 June 1996), indicated that the then Federal Transport Minister David Anderson, Minister, (during a meeting of the Greater Victoria Chamber of Commerce Transportation Committee), announced a $50,000 government contribution to the "Ogden Point Enhancement Society" for the improvement of the Ogden Point cruiseship terminal.

While the "Ogden Point Enhancement Society" does not appear to have made any public appearances of late, we are assured however by the "Greater Victoria Harbour Authority" (GVHA) that it is currently involved in the beautification of walkways in the waterfront area. In addition, the GVHA points out that the "Ogden Point Enhancement Society" has recently worked with the Victoria Rotary Club and Butchart Gardens to erect a legacy garden at the entrance to Ogden Point at Montreal Street and Dallas Road.

A quick search on "Google" reveals little about this organization, other than a blog reference by Steve Roper (Creative Director, Master Scuba Diver Trainer, Conservationist, Writer, Web Designer, and Photographer) to the effect that he has recently been invited to sit as a member of the Board of Directors of the "Ogden Point Enhancement Society".

A further search reveals that Hill Communications Group Inc. lists "Ogden Point Enhancement Society" as a client.

So, if anyone receives an invitation to attend this auspicious neighborhood event, please do let the rest of know who comprises the Board of Directors of this little known but worthy organization.

AMUSING AUGUST EVENTS...

August, what a great time to participate in the "Odd Olympics", especially if you're a couch potato, an armchair athlete or a poor soul with two left feet!

On the other hand, if you`re in a quandary about why a cow would want to jump over the moon, who let the "Michigan Moaner" loose, and who's going to win the "Golden Goose Egg Award" in the egg-and-spoon relay -- you need a vacation!So kick back, toss your TV remote control and cell phone in the lake, and try fly-swatting for a change!

For all those who have to report for work and suffer from far too many liquid lunches, limp watercress sandwiches, and lightweight daydreams, consider celebrating "Men from Mars Day". (That's when masked men with maps and Mayflower Madams on their minds descend from simmering, sleek, sightseeing spaceships to discover they've not only arrived on the wrong planet, but also 3,542 years too late for the beach party.)

So without further adieu, adios, arrivederci, au revoir, auf Wiedersehen, not to mention cheerio, ciao, pip pip, tah tah, toodle-oo, see you later Alligator, and that wretched standby "Have a Nice Day!" why not take our advice and enjoy these good-humored, good-for-nothing activities that exemplify the merry month of August.

August 1 - BATHTUB RACING DAY (Grab an old bathtub, put on some wheels and add an old motor or some oars, then find a place to float your funky boat!)

August 2 - NATIONAL ABBREVIATION APPRECIATION DAY (Time to celebrate the ancient sport of skinny-dipping, the science of getting down to bare essentials, and the fine art of bikinis, briefs and box shorts.)

August 3 - ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN RECOGNITION DAY (A great way to honor weird things that are bound to melt sooner or later and leave a smelly mess behind.)

August 4 - BOB DID IT DAY (Anything you'd dearly love to pin on dear old Bob, now's the time to do it.)

August 5 - DEVIL'S ADVOCATE DAY (Time to get out your bull horns, slip into a flaming red spandex suit, and grab a rusty pitchfork because it's time to honor all those who adore playing "Devil's Advocate" in your workplace!)

August 6 - NATIONAL HYPOCHONDRIAC APPRECIATION DAY (It's time for another "Pity Pot Party" where you get to pick your favorite ailment as an excuse to skip work today!)

August 7 - LEFT-FIELD AWARENESS DAY (Time to honor all those things that come appear out of nowhere and hit you on the head every now and then like bird droppings, old flames, and visits from long-lost relatives.)

August 8 SCARLET PIMPERNEL & MATA HARI DAY (Time to go incognito or undercover and be your favorite mystery man or maven; what's your nom de plume and what's your game?)

August 9 - ALPHABET APPRECIATION DAY (Time to talk about people, places and things beginning with the letter "B" like "Bucky Beaver", "Bobo" (Alabama), or the "bogey man".)

August 10 -UGLY ART & ARCHITECTURE DAY (Time to award the "No. 1 Eyesore" in your community; hint, it's the thing that even a flea market couldn't sell).

August 11 - LEO RECOGNITION DAY (This is payback time when you get to showcase those smug, stubborn, sulky sorts who strut about and stroke their locks, play with their curls, or simply wear a crown to cover their over-sized cerebellums).

August 12 - BIFFY BEAUTIFICATION DAY (Yup it's time to remodel, redecorate or revive that classic piece of American architecture the mobile ablution hut better known as the cottage outhouse, the camp latrine, or the outdoor privy.)

August 13 - BEAT-AROUND-THE-BUSH DAY (A time-honored occasion to evade thorny issues, lead folks down the garden path, and practice your hem-and-hawing skills.)

August 14 - CLUTTERBUG & PACK-RAT APPRECIATION DAY (It's never too late to recognize the contribution made by frenzied folks who are fond of collecting oodles of paper, bits of string, not to mention broken pencils and old photographs.)

August 15 - GONG SHOW AWARD DAY (Is there a delightful ding-dong diva or dude waiting to be recognized in your workplace or neighborhood?)

August 16 - NATTY NAPKIN DAY (Why not celebrate one of the most overlooked pieces of puff we have today, the humble dickey, the cheery chin-wiper, or that breathtaking bib and tucker outfit.)

August 17 - BEST BILLBOARD IN TOWN AWARD (Time to choose your favorite outdoor ad, the one that makes you jump elegantly for joy, roll merrily in the street, or quietly split your sides laughing.)

August 18 - FAKE FLOWER RECOGNITION DAY (Time to plant those plastic pots of PVC pansies on the deck to impress your know-it-all in-laws or nosey neighbors.)

August 19 - THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD PREDICT DAY (Time to put on your crash-helmet on because this could be a real winner!)

August 20 - EXCESS BAGGAGE APPRECIATION DAY (There's someone out there you know who always packs a 350-pound bag for an overnight trip to somewhere...this is his/her day!)

August 21 - BY-THE-BOOK REWARD DAY (A great occasion to honor those who never do a thing without consulting the operating instructions, or a policy and procedures manual.)

August 22 - NATIONAL BUTTER-FINGERS APPRECIATION DAY (So who do you know who constantly drops the ball, cannot climb a slippery pole, or sucks their thumb a lot?)

August 23 - NATIONAL CAVE MAN RECOGNITION DAY (Time to honor the best breast-beater you know or failing that, the best burned beef barbecue cook in your neighborhood.)

August 24 COCKTAILS & CAPERS DAY (Time to see who can whip up a "Blue Blazer", a daring "Daiquiri", a "Horse's Neck", a "Margarita", a "Pink Lady", or snappy "Sidecar" without a recipe of course.)

August 25 - BLAH BLAH BLAH & BLANKETY-BLANK-BLANK-BLANK APPRECIATION DAY (Frankly, what would the world be without naughty little words to fill in the blanks after hitting one's thumb with a hammer, listening to a talking head, or giving someone else a piece of your mind?)

August 26 - AAAH & OOOH AWARENESS DAY (Time to tell everyone you know what you want for your birthday, Christmas and Employee Appreciation Day.)

August 27 - STUFF YOU SHOULDN'T DO ON YOUR FIRST DAY ON THE JOB DAY (An occasion to honor the fine art of doodling, whistling while you work, or grooming your guinea pig in your cubicle.)

August 28 - MEN FROM MARS DAY (A good opportunity to check out the little green guys not to be confused with "Men from Glad" who grumble about carrying out your trash every week, adore swatting the occasional fly, and claim they were born with a convenient push-button TV remote control located on their navels naturally.)

August 29 - THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T LEND DAY (Let's see, there's your birthday suit, your pet boa, or your delightful dentures.)

August 30 - THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T KISS DAY (This list might include frogs and toads, Big Bird and the Blarney Stone not to mention cheap imitations of Prince Charming or the Princess of Prunes!)

August 31 - HORSE IN THE BATHROOM APPRECIATION DAY (Time to tell all those "would you believe it" stories that might leave some scratching their heads or yelling for more!)

__________

This curious calendar is compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and Lord Earl Craboon, (two charm-free types who, having been tossed out of the House of Lords and Ladies in Jolly Olde England, are now well ensconced in the Court of the Quipping Queen situated on the tip of Vancouver Island waiting for a 9 point on the Richter scale earthquake to hit at any moment.)

LET'S HERE IT FOR THE "ODD OLYMPICS"!

There's lots of hullabaloo these days, especially from those who know how to have a good time!

Who says you have to hot foot it all the way over to Beijing to see some great sporting events?

Why not organize your own "Odd Olympics" right here at home in James Bay?

Time to tickle yourself pink with a titillating game of "Tiddlywinks", "Toe Wrestling", or perhaps "Jabberwocky Jousting"!

AMUSING AUGUST EVENTS

August, what a great time to participate in the "Odd Olympics", especially if you're a couch potato, an armchair athlete or a poor soul with two left feet!

On the other hand, if you`re in a quandary about why a cow would want to jump over the moon, who let the "Michigan Moaner" loose, and who's going to win the "Golden Goose Egg Award" in the egg-and-spoon relay -- you need a vacation!

So kick back, toss your TV remote control and cell phone in the lake, and try fly-swatting for a change!

On the other hand, for all those who have to report for work and suffer from far too many liquid lunches, limp watercress sandwiches, and lightweight daydreams, consider celebrating Men from Mars Day. (That's when masked men with maps and Mayflower Madams on their minds descend from simmering, sleek, sightseeing spaceships to discover they've not only arrived on the wrong planet, but also 3,542 years too late for the beach party.)

So without further adieu, adios, arrivederci, au revoir, auf Wiedersehen, not to mention cheerio, ciao, pip pip, tah tah, toodle-oo, see you later Alligator, and that wretched standby "Have a Nice Day!" why not take our advice and enjoy these good-humored, good-for-nothing activities that exemplify the merry month of August.

August 1 - BATHTUB RACING DAY (Grab an old bathtub, put on some wheels and add an old motor or some oars, then find a place to float your funky boat!)

August 2 - NATIONAL ABBREVIATION APPRECIATION DAY (Time to celebrate the ancient sport of skinny-dipping, the science of getting down to bare essentials, and the fine art of bikinis, briefs and box shorts.)

August 3 - ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN RECOGNITION DAY (A great way to honor weird things that are bound to melt sooner or later and leave a smelly mess behind.)

August 4 - BOB DID IT DAY (Anything you'd dearly love to pin on dear old Bob, now's the time to do it.)

August 5 - DEVIL'S ADVOCATE DAY (Time to get out your bull horns, slip into a flaming red spandex suit, and grab a rusty pitchfork because it's time to honor all those who adore playing "Devil's Advocate" in your workplace!)

August 6 - NATIONAL HYPOCHONDRIAC APPRECIATION DAY (It's time for another "Pity Pot Party" where you get to pick your favorite ailment as an excuse to skip work today!)

August 7 - LEFT-FIELD AWARENESS DAY (Time to honor all those things that come appear out of nowhere and hit you on the head every now and then like bird droppings, old flames, and visits from long-lost relatives.)

August 8 SCARLET PIMPERNEL & MATA HARI DAY (Time to go incognito or undercover and be your favorite mystery man or maven; what's your nom de plume and what's your game?)
August 9 - ALPHABET APPRECIATION DAY (Time to talk about people, places and things beginning with the letter "B" like "Bucky Beaver", "Bobo" (Alabama), or the "bogey man".)

August 10 -UGLY ART & ARCHITECTURE DAY (Time to award the "No. 1 Eyesore" in your community; hint, it's the thing that even a flea market couldn't sell).

August 11 - LEO RECOGNITION DAY (This is payback time when you get to showcase those smug, stubborn, sulky sorts who strut about and stroke their locks, play with their curls, or simply wear a crown to cover their over-sized cerebellums).

August 12 - BIFFY BEAUTIFICATION DAY (Yup it's time to remodel, redecorate or revive that classic piece of American architecture the mobile ablution hut better known as the cottage outhouse, the camp latrine, or the outdoor privy.)

August 13 - BEAT-AROUND-THE-BUSH DAY (A time-honored occasion to evade thorny issues, lead folks down the garden path, and practice your hem-and-hawing skills.)

August 14 - CLUTTERBUG & PACK-RAT APPRECIATION DAY (It's never too late to recognize the contribution made by frenzied folks who are fond of collecting oodles of paper, bits of string, not to mention broken pencils and old photographs.)

August 15 - GONG SHOW AWARD DAY (Is there a delightful ding-dong diva or dude waiting to be recognized in your workplace or neighborhood?)

August 16 - NATTY NAPKIN DAY (Why not celebrate one of the most overlooked pieces of puff we have today, the humble dickey, the cheery chin-wiper, or that breathtaking bib and tucker outfit.)

August 17 - BEST BILLBOARD IN TOWN AWARD (Time to choose your favorite outdoor ad, the one that makes you jump elegantly for joy, roll merrily in the street, or quietly split your sides laughing.)

August 18 - FAKE FLOWER RECOGNITION DAY (Time to plant those plastic pots of PVC pansies on the deck to impress your know-it-all in-laws or nosey neighbors.)

August 19 - THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD PREDICT DAY (Time to put on your crash-helmet on because this could be a real winner!)

August 20 - EXCESS BAGGAGE APPRECIATION DAY (There's someone out there you know who always packs a 350-pound bag for an overnight trip to somewhere...this is his/her day!)

August 21 - BY-THE-BOOK REWARD DAY (A great occasion to honor those who never do a thing without consulting the operating instructions, or a policy and procedures manual.)

August 22 - NATIONAL BUTTER-FINGERS APPRECIATION DAY (So who do you know who constantly drops the ball, cannot climb a slippery pole, or sucks their thumb a lot?)

August 23 - NATIONAL CAVE MAN RECOGNITION DAY (Time to honor the best breast-beater you know or failing that, the best burned beef barbecue cook in your neighborhood.)

August 24 COCKTAILS & CAPERS DAY (Time to see who can whip up a "Blue Blazer", a daring "Daiquiri", a "Horse's Neck", a "Margarita", a "Pink Lady", or snappy "Sidecar" without a recipe of course.)

August 25 - BLAH BLAH BLAH & BLANKETY-BLANK-BLANK-BLANK APPRECIATION DAY (Frankly, what would the world be without naughty little words to fill in the blanks after hitting one's thumb with a hammer, listening to a talking head, or giving someone else a piece of your mind?)

August 26 - AAAH & OOOH AWARENESS DAY (Time to tell everyone you know what you want for your birthday, Christmas and Employee Appreciation Day.)

August 27 - STUFF YOU SHOULDN'T DO ON YOUR FIRST DAY ON THE JOB DAY (An occasion to honor the fine art of doodling, whistling while you work, or grooming your guinea pig in your cubicle.)

August 28 - MEN FROM MARS DAY (A good opportunity to check out the little green guys not to be confused with "Men from Glad" who grumble about carrying out your trash every week, adore swatting the occasional fly, and claim they were born with a convenient push-button TV remote control located on their navels naturally.)

August 29 - THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T LEND DAY (Let's see, there's your birthday suit, your pet boa, or your delightful dentures.)

August 30 - THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T KISS DAY (This list might include frogs and toads, Big Bird and the Blarney Stone not to mention cheap imitations of Prince Charming or the Princess of Prunes!)

August 31 - HORSE IN THE BATHROOM APPRECIATION DAY (Time to tell all those "would you believe it" stories, that might leave some scratching their heads or yelling for more!)
__________

This curious calendar is compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and Lord Earl Craboon, (two charm-free types who, having been tossed out of the House of Lords and Ladies in Jolly Olde England, are now well ensconced in the Court of the "Quipping Queen" situated on the tip of Vancouver Island waiting for a 9 point on the Richter scale earthquake to hit at any moment.)

JAMES BAY HAS A NEW SIGN!

Yup, you got it!

For those of you who are not familiar with this new symbol of civility ... "It's Illegal to Wear Curlers in Your Hair" or else "Barefoot People With Bunions Are Not Welcome" in this neighborhood.

A MYSTERY IN THE MAKING - WHO IS THE "OGDEN POINT ENHANCEMENT SOCIETY"?

We have a minor mystery of sorts in our illustrious neighborhood.

The "James Bay Beacon" in it's July/August issue together with the Greater Victoria Harbour Authority recently announced that the "Ogden Point Enhancement Society" would be hosting a special event, "Cruising Into History - A Celebration of Ogden Point", on Saturday, August 23, 2008 from 7:30 pm to 10:00 pm at Ogden Point Terminal.

The press release for the Greater Victoria Harbour Authority states: "Come celebrate Victoria's rich maritime history. Bring the whole family down for an evening of music, food, and fireworks to commemorate the history of Ogden Point and upgrades to the terminal in conjunction with the arrival of the 150th cruise ship. Over 30 arts & crafts vendors will be participating in the Night Market. Volunteers will provide tours of the new murals."

Apparently this special event will be hosted by the "Ogden Point Enhancement Society", Victoria A.M. Association, the Greater Victoria Harbour Authority, King Bros. Limited, and Western Stevedoring.

So, who is "Ogden Point Enhancement Society"?

According to the Greater Victoria Harbour Authority, the "Ogden Point Enhancement Society" was established in the 1990s "when then Mayor, Bob Cross, organized a group of volunteers to care for the grassy area opposite the breakwater and along the waterfront up to Confederation Point".

A Federal Government French language press release, (dated 24 June 1996), indicated that the then Federal Transport Minister David Anderson, Minister, (during a meeting of the Greater Victoria Chamber of Commerce Transportation Committee), announced a $50,000 government contribution to the "Ogden Point Enhancement Society" for the improvement of the Ogden Point cruiseship terminal.

While the "Ogden Point Enhancement Society" does not appear to have made any public appearances of late, we are assured however by the "Greater Victoria Harbour Authority" (GVHA) that it is currently involved in the beautification of walkways in the waterfront area. In addition, the GVHA points out that the "Ogden Point Enhancement Society" has recently worked with the Victoria Rotary Club and Butchart Gardens to erect a legacy garden at the entrance to Ogden Point at Montreal Street and Dallas Road.

A quick search on "Google" reveals little about this organization, other than a blog reference by Steve Roper (Creative Director. Master Scuba Diver Trainer. Conservationist. Writer. Web Designer. Photographer) to the effect that he has recently been invited to sit as a member of the Board of Directors of the "Ogden Point Enhancement Society".

A further search reveals that Beacon Hill Communications Group Inc. lists "Ogden Point Enhancement Society" as a client.

So, if anyone receives an invitation to attend this auspicious neighborhood event, please do let the rest of know who comprises the Board of Directors of this little known but worthy organization.

PEACE AND QUIET IN JAMES BAY?

Well, if you call James Bay home, you might have thought it was in the middle of a war zone recently.

The eardrums of residents were bombarded by the canons coming from a myriad of "man o'wars" floating about off Ogden Point. As if that was not enough, the blessed bow-wows began barking and running for cover beneath the beds; the crazy crows lost their cool; the screaming-meemie kids all demanded more bubble-gum ice-cream, and the shell-shocked clocks went berserk (see photo insert for proof)!

So, if you have any complaints, just contact the Mayor...he always loves to hear from rattled residents!

IS CHANGE IN THE AIR?

A new bandshell, a biffy, or just a bird-watchers paradise for Ogden Point?

PUTTING ON THE DOG

For those who know that "you can't teach an old dog new tricks", or that it's better to "let sleeping dogs lie", then you probably won't want to "put on the dog"...unless of course you don't want to be outdone by another place that wants to win first prize for "doggone" good things!

Speaking of "letting the place go to the dogs", methinks that the City of Langley had a "grrrrt" idea in posting a rather puckish sort of pooch sign in their parks.

The creative effort on the part of a municipality across the pond will perhaps spawn a few bright ideas about what brand of bow-wow humor the City of Victoria has in store for all its tail-wagging taxpayers? (Note to Self: Beware of the hand that feeds dog-guardians unless you're prepared to bite the biscuit first!)

Please send your suggestions to the James Bay Babbler by emailing: jamesbaybabbler[at]yahoo.com.

AN ODD LITTLE NEIGHBORHOOD

I live in an odd little neighborhood where people prefer to abandon an old sofa on a scenic horse-drawn carriage route (such as Montreal Street) than leave an old book lying around in a public place for a complete stranger to come by and pick it up.

Now the laundry room...well, that's an entirely different matter. "Lost & Found" it is not, but, on the other hand, it's a convenient corner to deposit one's ancient analogue TV set complete with rabbit ears, a speckled-tomato and popcorn-spattered microwave, or perhaps a perfectly good pair of previously-enjoyed hot pink "Crocs".

Which reminds me, strange things turn up when you least expect them, like last summer when I happened upon several oddities carefully stashed away from the high tides and soggy seaweed at Ogden Point. A great find as I recall -- an assortment of colorfully painted round stones inscribed with a myriad of merry messages: "This is a Smile Stone!", "Get Your Own Pet Rock!" and "Color Me Happy!"

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN JAMES BAY?

1. There is no tweed curtain to hide behind or to keep unwanted visitors out.

2. Not a welcome sign in sight but that doesn't discourage a droning bagpipe player at the entrance to the Inner Harbour from entertaining tourists and driving James Bayers to drink!

3. Horses have the right of way (see photo insert).

4. "Quaint" refers to the hand-painted Emergency Preparedness Container in Irving Park, (Menzies and Michigan).

5. There's a preponderance of palatial poop decks in port during the summer months.

6. Scooters driven by feisty Freedom-55ers are considered a hazard of living here.

7. Guano-producing gulls, cackling crows, and crapping Canada Geese add a certain ambiance to the place.

8. Calling the commissionaires to ticket non-resident vehicles is a favorite pastime of the locals.

9. Sleep-deprivation and hearing loss are considered "collateral damage" (caused by cacophony of cruiseships, the ripsnorting roar of seaplane engines, the humming of helicopter blades, not to mention the hullabaloo of far too many holiday-makers).

10. There are no snakes in the grass, (unless you count the ones slithering about in the eco-friendly hallways and well-manicured grounds of the provincial legislature).

GARDEN-FENCE GOSSIP

Victoria is known far and wide as Canada's "City of Gardens".

So it's no surprise that we have a few ladies who love to wander down the garden path sharing a titillating tale or two, especially if it has anything to do with the neighbours, ... in particular one "naughty lady from Shady Lane"!

So, if you're bored with the usual fill of "As the World Turns", just tune in to the following feisty fencepost free-for-all.

This week's tarty tidbit:

"Frankly my dear, I think she's having an affair with 'Johnny-Jump-Up', 'Sweet William' and the 'Bachelor Button' don't you!"

__________

Photo credit insert: Guilda Gossip on flickr.com photos.

JUST HOW POPULAR IS JAMES BAY?

Well, according to the Google search engine, there are more than 242,000 web pages devoted to "James Bay Victoria BC".

And, one of the first internet listings, Vancouverisland.com, points out to visitors that "James Bay still boasts many pristine older residences that have retained their original Victorian splendour, many of which were owned by the original settlers of the Victoria area. The eastern end of James Bay was reclaimed in 1903 for the construction of the Empress Hotel." (See a heritage home in the neighborhood featured in "Snippets & Snapshots").

"Monday Magazine" (Volume 34, Issue #24") however found few assets in James Bay to crow about, preferring instead to describe several as, "the cruiseship deadzone of Ogden Point and the Guananamo charm of the Blackball terminal." Perhaps he overlooked the fact that 163 floating hotels with more than 325,000 visitors expect to park overnight at "the deadzone" in 2008, while two popular U.S. ferry operator call this neighborhood their home, not to mention a helijet service to Vancouver and the Canadian Coast Guard to name a few significant commercial income generators to this City.

__________

Photo Insert: Sunset June 14, 2008, three cruiseships berthed at Ogden Point.

FEEDBACK RE FIDO & FIFI - FOOD FOR THOUGHT

It seems that the real reason James Bay is being graced with a new off-leash dog park at Shoal Point (Fisherman's Wharf) is due to a surplus of Fidos and Fifis stomping down the grass and scaring the other wild critters along Dallas Road. Apparently the answer is to shift the problem over to a neglected park in a nearby neighborhood, (even though the City has received no petition from households or condo owners adjacent to the park or elsewhere in James Bay).

In a search for a balanced solution to meet the needs of canines and other recreational users of the parks in Victoria's most densely populated neighborhood, one James Bay apartment dweller and former pet owner suggested that dog owners be licensed as we do operators of motor vehicles.

She suggested that owners of dogs wishing to have access to any public space should be required to: 1) register their dog(s) with the City, 2) show proof that their dog has satisfactorily passed a dog obedience training course, and 3) carry insurance so as to mitigate any potential damages incurred to a third party in the event of mishap with a dog. She also added that such a policy and program could be affordably implemented by working in cooperation with veterinary clinics as well as independent pet services or pet retail shops.

(Note: According to a Victoria Parks official at last weekend's "Paws in the Park" open house at City Hall, less than one quarter of canines are currently licensed in the City of Victoria. No information was available in the presentation as to the size of the dog population or the number of dog licenses issued in the Capital Regional District.)

Now if only we could get all the dog-owners to pick up after Fido and Fifi...the world would be perfect!

I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE

Well if you happened to have been jogging, walking, or scootering along the water's edge pathway just east of Holland Point (Dallas Road & Menzies Street) between 2 and 3 pm on Thursday, June 13th, you might have caught a glimpse of an usual spectacle.

No it wasn't an itsy bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka dot bikini floating on the water, nor was it "The Beatles" famed "Yellow Submarine", nor was it a wayward whale.

Visitors to the area were slightly flummoxed if not perplexed, as they were not expecting alien water sprites on their casual afternoon jaunt. Further investigation revealed that the "thing" bouncing around in the water spurting two gorgeous plums of water into the air was none other than an itty, bitty bark (yellow and white to be exact).

This daring display of showmanship was afforded by a professional team of mariners practicing how to put out fires, (or maybe they were simply trying to figure out how to keep in time to the music that will be played at "Symphony Splash" being held on Sunday, August 3rd from 4 to 10 pm in the Inner Harbour.

10 WAYS YOU KNOW THE CRUISE SHIPS ARE IN TOWN

1. The traffic along Dallas Road moves at a snail's pace which clogs up the works not unlike the frigging zebra mussels!

2. Diesel fuel fumes add a certain "je ne sais quoi" fragrance to the air.

3. Oodles of foreigners feed the "starving" seagulls while the rats go hungry!

4. Herds of tourists, sporting humongous ID badges dangling from their chests, parade in single file along Oswego Street.

5. Blue fumes emanating from tour buses compete with hot air from the legislature.

6. Happy, helmeted Vespa vistors (aka bats out of hell) appear out of nowhere.

7. A slightly confused soul stops and asks you, "which way to the drugstore?"

8. A gigantic gaggle of gigglers gather at "Mile Zero" for a photo op or an impromptu sing-along version of "Koom-Bay-Ya".

9. Locals have to dodge the new piles of horse-apples on the roads.

10. Three long blasts on a horrid horn tend to break the solemnity of the cool midnight air, shake residents out of their comfy beds, and wake up the darn dogs if not send the cats scurrying beneath the sheets for cover!

PAWS IN THE PARK - IS THE CITY GOING TO THE DOGS?

The City of Victoria will be holding an "Open House" on Saturday, June 7th from 11:00 am - 3:00 pm on the issue of "Paws in the Park".

They would love to hear feedback from residents about the issue of on-leash and off-leash areas for dogs in Victoria Parks.

Apparently, consideration is being given to a request from a dog-ownership advocacy group to designate the seldom used Fisherman's Wharf Park at Shoal Point as a new "off-leash" dog area.

So express yourself...give the folks at City Hall a bone (yes) or a bark (no)...they need your help in making up their minds how best to serve the diverse needs of Victoria residents including those with animal companions.

5 THINGS YOU PROBABLY DON'T KNOW ABOUT JAMES BAY

1. The Mermaid Mosaic on the corner of Menzies & Simcoe was made by artist, Sandra Millott.

2. One of the early organized baseball teams in Victoria came out of the James Bay Athletic Association which began in 1886 when a group of men from the James Bay neighborhood formed a baseball team called the "James Bays", the other was the "Amity Club", (formed in 1887, and ten years later actually got real baseball uniforms!).

3. One Victoria blogger is devoted to taking daily shots of Victoria...5 of which focus on James Bay.

4. There is a topographical map of James Bay in the Canadian Atlas!

5. The James Bay Inn is the third oldest hotel in the City of Victoria!

ALL THE BLAH BLAH BLAH ABOUT JAMES BAY!

All The Blah Blah Blah You Ever Wanted To Know About Getting Your Bearings in James Bay

For those who have a compass and a sextent or a Global Positioning System device at their disposal, you'll find some interesting landmarks like the "Ogden Point Breakwater" at Latitude: 48°24.811N and Longitude: 123°23.630W.

For those who can't navigate worth a hoot even with a map, a compass, a GPS device, and a back-seat driver ...admit it, you're hopelessly lost!

Fear not, just ask someone for directions to beautiful downtown Victoria (conveniently located at Latitude: 48.4167° N and Longitude: 123.3667° W). So, whether you're looking for tasty tidbits, trinkets, or tokens of affection, there are a whole host of shops in James Bay and the Inner Harbour waiting to empty your wallet or max out your credit card.

Need to figure out what to wear today besides welly boots, a wet-suit, and a brand-name bumbershoot? Then take a gander at the Canada geese who call the parks of James Bay their home in winter, or better yet, why not check out the James Bay Community School Weather forecast. What do you mean you don't like "singing in the rain"?*!

And, for those who want to know what they can expect to see and hear while jogging along Victoria's picturesque Outer Harbour besides some aerial acrobatics performed by a team of squawking, supersized seagulls, the sights and sounds of the delightful dive-bombing crows, or oodles of off-leash canine companions frolicking about on 'play-dates', please go online and check out the Dallas Road Web cam.

"JAMES BAY BABBLER" GOES LIVE!

(Victoria BC) --"James Bay Babbler" (Vol. 1, No. 1) , the voice of wit and wisdom not to mention what's what and who's who in the heart of James Bay, Victoria, British Columbia invites everyone who lives, works and plays here to contribute news, views, opinions, or whatever you want to share with others in this neck of the woods!

You'll find interesting tidbits and treats like photos, videos, polls, contests, short blurbs and blurts, community links not to mention recommended books, places to eat, and oodles of things to do in this really neat neighborhood!

So, drop by Ogden Point Cafe (at the Breakwater), every Saturday morning 10:00 am, grab a latte and a freshly baked sticky cinnamon bun, pull up a chair and join the "JB Conversation Cafe" where we chew the local fat, discover new friends, and dream up all manner of creative projects for the week, the month or the year!

Or, failing that, drop the "James Bay Babbler" a friendly email - jamesbaybabbler[at]yahoo.ca!